Books That Make Good Movies: King Dork

Personal Copy picture!

This is kind of a hesitant post actually. The thing is, I love King Dork. A lot. It is that kind of book, where you know that you are willing to devote however many days and weeks it takes to read it fully. And it has the kind of plot that would make for a good movie: High School Underdog constantly thinking about girls and bands while trying to puzzle out his father’s death (murder?)

What I’m desperately afraid of is that they would completely screw it up if they made it into a movie. Some of the best parts of King Dork come from Frank Portman’s utterly hilarious writing style, with little details stuck in that just can’t be filled in with a voice-over clumsily overlaid on the screen. Reading Mr. Portman’s new book (Andromeda Klein, due out later this month) made me remember how much King Dork, if done correctly, would make a truly unique movie about high school.

If you read it or have already read it, well then you will or already have the ability to understand where I’m coming from. I’m not sure how one would get a character like Tom Henderson and his bizarre sense of humor across the screen. I would love to see it accomplished though.

1001 Part 2: 1977-1989

195 Movies are listed in the years 1977-1989.

Of them, I have seen 30

Of those that I have seen and liked, there were 23.  These were:

Do the Right Thing; Crimes and Misdemeanors; When Harry Met Sally; Batman; Grave of the Fireflies; Akira; The Thin Blue Line; Moonstruck; The Princess Bride; Ferris Bueller’s Day Off; The Breakfast Club; Ghostbusters; Amadeus; Star Wars: Return of the Jedi; A Christmas Story; Gandhi; Tootsie; Raiders of the Lost Ark; Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back; The Last Metro; Annie Hall; Star Wars; Stand By Me

Movies I Want to See: 45

My Left Food; The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, & Her Lover; Alice (Neco Z Alenky); Dangerous Liaisons; A Fish Called Wanda; Cinema Paradiso; Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown; Sinnui Yauman (A Chinese Ghost Story); The Untouchables; Broadcast News; Au Revois Les Enfants; Good Morning, Vietnam; wings of Desire; Salvador; Tampopo; A room with a View; Hannah and her Sisters; Vagabond; Prizzi’s Honor; Brazil; Back to the Future; The Purple Rose of Cairo; Ran; This is Spinal Tap; Once Upon a Time in America; The Last Battle; A Question of Silence; Blade Runner; Fast Times at Ridgmont High; Reds; Chariots of Fire; Das Boot; Raging Bull; Lou Lou; Ordinary People; Mad Max; Manhattan; Being There; All that Jazz; Stalker; Dawn of the Dead; The Deer Hunter; Suspira; Killer of Sheep; Man of Marble

Those that I feel I Should See: 53

Say Anything; Sex, Lies, and Videotape; Glory; Une Affaire de Femmes; Rain Man; Big; The Naked Gun; Bull Durham; Fatal Attractioni; The Dead; Full Metal Jacket; Raising Arizona; Pekaing Opera Blues; Platoon; The Fly; Alines; She’s Gotta Have It; Blue Velvet; The color Purple; The Quiet Earth; Out of Africa; The Official Story; The Natural; The Killing Fields; Stranger than Paraidse; A Passage to India; Beverly Hills Cop; The Terminator; The Ballad of Narayman; Scarface; The Right Stuff; Terms of Endearment; The Big Chill; Fanny and Alexander; Fitzcarraldo; Yol; The Evil Dead; Poltergeist; The Thing; ET: Extra-Terrestrial; The Jerk; Apocalypse now; Life of Brian; Kramer vs. Kramer; Alien; The Marriage of Maria Braun; Halloween; Eraserhead; Saturday Night Fever; Close Encounters of the Third Kind

I would really like to see, in the process of this experiment, if there will come a section of the book that will have more movies that I want to see than movies that I feel like I ought to see.

That would be interesting…

These books make me happy because they give examples of movies that I wouldn’t have ordinarily seen otherwise, except that the writer makes a mention of them and you can tell– they love that movie.  They are able to sell it.  When the writer fails, it’s obvious: They’ve picked that movie because they know that they should.  They may respect that movie, but there’s no way that they love it.  They’re just writing about it for a job.

Still, there are so many great movies out there and they appeal to so many people: How can you just narrow it down to 1001.  I’m willing to bet that I haven’t even see 1001 movies in my lifetime, but even so, there are so many movies out there, how can you possibly pick?

1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die

So. I work at a library. At said library, we have this series of books: 1001 Books to Read Before You Die, 1001 Music Recordings to Hear Before You Die, and, of course, 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die.

How could I resist?

Working from the back (2007 films) to the front, I decided to count up how many of these movies I’ve actually seen. This then turned into something my AP Stat teacher would be proud of.

As it turns out, it takes a long time to read descriptions for 1001 movies, so I’m doing this in batches. Four categories: Movies I’ve Seen, Seen and Liked, Movies I Want to See, and Movies I Feel Like I Should see. Of the last category, can commenters give advice on which are worth it and which I should skip over? Muchly Appreciated.

From the years 1990-2007 (191 Movies)

Movies I’ve Seen: 38
Those That I Liked: 22
The Host, The Lives of Others, Pan’s Labyrinth, Crash, Spirited Away, Moulin Rouge!, Memento, Gladiator, Fight Club, Princess Mononoke, The Usual Suspects, Braveheart, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Forrest Gump, Hoop Dreams, Jurassic Park, Philadelphia, Reservoir Dogs, The Silence of the Lambs, Edward Scissorhands, Europa Europa

Movies I Want to See: 35
Go, See, and Become; 3-Iron; Good Bey Lenin!; City of God; No Man’s Land; Amelie; Dancer in the Dark; Traffic; All About My Mother; Audition; Pi; Buffalo 66; Open Your Eyes; Funny Games; The English Patienty; Trainspotting; Gabbeh; Secrets & Lies; Shine; Dead Man; Muriel’s Wedding; Dear Diary; Heavenly Creatures; Crumb; The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert; The Wedding Banquet; The Piano; Short Cuts; Strictly Ballroom; My Own Private Idaho; The Beautiful Troublemaker; Delicatessen; Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer; King of New York: Reversal of Fortune

Movie I Feel Like I Should See: 50
Atonement; Into the Wild; No Country for Old Men; La Vie en Rose; The Queen; Once; The Departed; Sideways; Kill Bill; The Best of Youth; The Pianist; The Royal Tenenbaums; Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon; Requiem for a Dream; The Sixth Sense; American Beauty; Being John Malkovish; The Thin Red Line; There’s Something About Mary; Rushmore; Saving Private Ryan; The Ice Storm; LA Confidential; Scream; Breaking the Waves; Fargo; Heat; Casino; The Shawshank Redemption; Natural Born Kilers; Four Weddings and a Funeral; Clerks; Three Colors: Red; Schindler’s List; Three Colors: Blue; Groundhog Day; The Crying Game; Man Bites Dog; Conte D’Hiver; Unforgiven; Glengarry Glen Rose; The Player; Tongues Untied; Thelma & Louise; Boyz ‘N The Hood; Total Recall; Archangel; Dances With Wolves; Jacob’s Ladder; Goodfellas

Okay. Damn: Long lists, huh? The movies I feel Like I should See… well, a lot of them I do want to see, but I feel more like I should than actually being intrigued by them. A lot of that category is taken up by pressure from other people or from other film books, “You have to see this movie to understand blah-di-blah.” Or it’s just as my English teacher would put it: Ignorance Control. I feel like I should watch these movies so that I’m not ignorant of our culture, I suppose.

Towards the book, or at least, the book editor: Why the hell is Clueless in this collection? It’s not that great of a movie.

Also, I love this description under the Pulp Fiction article:
“Taken on its own crass terms, Tarantino’s mock-tough narrative… resembles a wet dream for 14-year-old male closet queens (or, perhaps more accurately, the 14-year-old male closet queen in each of us).”

Thank you, Jonathan Rosenbaum

Books that Make Good Movies: The Haunting of Alaizabel Cray

This has been my favorite book for a long time, and it would make the a perfect movie for an audience used to fantasy-action dramas.

The Haunting of Alaizabel Cray by Chris Wooding is the story of Thaniel, a wych-hunter in Victorian London.  The first scene is a fabulous introduction of him and his partner/metor Cathaline as they track down the typical creatures they hunt, which are demons and creatures that haunt the edges of nightmare.  On one of these missions he meets the beautiful and possessed Alaizabel Cray, who holds the key to the end of the world.

I like this book for a lot of reasons- Chris Wooding is a god when it somes to spinning beautiful fantasy stories with intricate plots.  All of this books in the US are Young Adult, but he writes fantasy for adults too, they’re just published in England (to which I say, Chris Wooding’s publishers, COME ON ALREADY! I need more fantasy action!).

Alaizabel Cray has a lot of vivid characters too that shine out well in both the traditional and nonorthodox ways of fantasy fiction.  Thaniel is the go-to hero character with daddy issues, but it doesn’t frustrate me as much as if a lesser author had overdone it.  Everything works with his character, personality, and why he is a wych-hunter (his father was one before him).  Alaizabel is a Victorian heroine in the style of Mina Harker, where she has the ability to kick some ass herself and learn magic from the spirit possessing her. 

Then there are some minor characters that play huge roles in the story: Stich-face, the Jack the Ripper-esque character who wears a bag for a mask drawn into a terrible face and a woman’s curly wig while he haunts the London streets; Cathaine, who turns the idea of the Proper Victorian Woman on it’s head; Mammon Pyke, the dispicable head of the Lunatic Asylum located just outside of the city; Maycraft, the middle-aged detective.  They’re all drawn so well into the story of Alaizabel that I just can’t stand it.

The scene is beautifully crafted as London at it’s worse, with demons and wyches, wolves and lunatics running about the southside.  In some ways it reminds me of reading steam punk, but that’s because it’s Victorian with a twist. The twist in this case is fantasy instead of science fiction, so it suits me better anyway.

So why would this make a great movie?  It’s perfect for the fantasy-crowd, which exists anyway but was built up upon by the likes of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings.  There is a Smart Action Movie sense to how the plot is developped and how the suspense is built, with enough mystery in it to keep the reader or viewer entranced from start to finish.

Unfortunately, this book could be turned into a terrible movie easily if it’s put into the hands of people who don’t understand why the book is good or how the plot was suspenseful.  I have the feeling that if the wrong producer, director, or actors are in the movie it will tank and down will go all of my hopes for this as the next great fantasy film.

I’d recommend this book to just about anyone fans of Sleepy Hollow or Neil Gaiman.

Movies in 15 Minutes

The Best Way to Waste Time Online

My first post not about movies. Ish.  Technically, it’s about a book, but the book is about movies.  So it counts.  Right? 

Movies in 15 Minutes started when Cleolinda Jones decided to share her brilliant comedic talents with the world.  Just in a movie-related way.  It started on livejournal (don’t they always) and became a book! A book, only available in the UK. Or, luckily, UK Amazon.

Here’s a link with the basic rundown of her parodies online: http://community.livejournal.com/m15m

They are the funniest parodies for movies I’ve read or seen, considering modern parodies take form mostly in those crappy movies made by the Scary Movie plebes.  Feh.

The book, if you so choose to venture into purchasing, contains the Hollywood Blockbusters from 1993-2003, namely Jurassic Park, Braveheart, Independence Day, Titanic, The Matrix, Gladiator, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Sorcerer’s Philosopher’s Stone, Spider-Man, Attack of the Clones, and all three Lord of the Rings.

As the little subtitle tells us, this is a book of “Hollywood Blockbusters for People Who Can’t Be Bothered.” Joy!  I can almost never be bothered to watch blockbusters.  I’m just amazed that I’ve even seen most of the movies on this list.  But seriously, this is fantastic entertainment.  This is what I waste my time on when it’s one  AM online and I’m still not going to bed.  What’s nice about the book are the connected threads between the parodies, such as the Third-Age Limbo Championship and Our Lady of Soundtrack Sorrow.

There are gems in the book and online, so make sure to check out both of them.  Cleolinda writes sharply and with excess wit to spare, because she is awesome.  My personal favorites online are Phantom of the Opera, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, and Van Helsing although the awesome abounds in all of them. What’s nice is, you can really read the parodies without watching the movies if you can’t be bothered.  They get summed up nicely.  And then the internet takes the best of the parodies’ lines and turns them into icons, so there’s some visual component up there, if that’s your taste.