Memories of Van Helsing

For some strange reason, I love this movie.  I hate it and love it, in that I recognize that it is a bad movie. 

I have good memories associated with it though.  I saw it in theaters with best bud Natelie, and we adored it.  I think we were about thirteen and edging our way into the weary world of film at this point.  Also: Anything with vampires, we latched onto.  Particularly, Dracula (this might be around the same time I watched Bram Stoker’s Dracula for the first time, too, now that I think on it).

Anyway, I caught the last thirty minutes or so of Van Helsing while I was channel surfing and realized that this is further proof that I will watch anything with vampires or Hugh Jackman in it (and I didn’t even know that I liked him that much).  And yet, it follows.

This movie makes me want to go to Transylvania in the 19th century.  Everything looks rather weird and creepy, which is what I expect from movies with some sort of gothic aspect about it.  Scenery must follow suit, and it does.  I don’t know if Transylvania actually looks like this.  Because I haven’t watching the Anthony Bourdain Romania episode yet.  Somehow, I doubt that it does.

But oh, that crazy Action Flick, Poorly Thought Out Plot of it all…  It reeks of wanting a sequel or prequel, doesn’t it?  What with that possibility of Van Helsing, going out to fight evil in other areas of the world (or at the very least, Europe).

So, my first memory of seeing Van Helsing:  As I said before, I was maybe thirteen at the time.  My friend calls me up, randomly and out of the blue because that is her style, in order to see Van Helsing and I jump on it.  We are Action Movie Hors at his moment, going to see movies because the trailer looks cool.  No other reason is good enough.  My mother gives me a brief look when I mention what we’re going to see. 

“I heard it was bad.”

“I do not care.”

And then, we’re off, and only slightly late for previews.  The seats we snag in the crammed theater are close to the front, nay, the only two seats we could find in the dark comfortably.  Around us are guys and their girlfriends or best friends, and maybe some other shady characters of the preteen sort.  And then the movie rolls, and we are reminded what made that trailer look good.

To this day, I can’t remember.

Occasionally, Natelie and I will look at each other and whisper things like “So cool!”, etc etc.  And the lights come on, and we have come to the agreement that it was a Very Good Movie and that we will buy it ASAP.  Maybe a year or two later, I go to Suncoast and pick it up because it occurs to me to do so.

Moving on, my Van Helsing DVD does not go to waste.  Instead, it is used at many sleepovers for late night fodder, whereupon I promptly fall asleep because I’ve seen it too many times already for it to keep me awake.  My friends and I discover Van Helsing in 15 Minutes and come to our senses, a little, over how bad a movie can be. 

A few months ago I thought that I might as well try selling my DVD, or give it away to someone who would make better use of it.  Then I see a clip on TV, and I remember how much cracky Goth-Action fun is in Van Helsing.

Mock, if you will, but this movie somehow became important to me, in a very weird way.

Benny & Joon

A Great use of The Pretenders

Thanks to DVR, I was finally able to watch Benny & Joon, a gem of the 90s.  I first heard about this film in freshman year Film Analysis, during the BEST PROJECT EVAH!!

BEST PROJECT EVAH!!! happened to be to show your favorite movie, present a scene to the class, and write an analytic essay about it.  But because this was awesome, even the essay was fun.  Two people showed this movie, and presented it pretty much as it was.  It would be over a year later when I would get any closer to seeing this movie: My friend had a copy he took out during Chemistry.  Unfortunately, it turned out that this was a copy he himself had borrowed, so I was out of luck.

Thank you, DVR! I got around to watching it this afternoon, and there is a word to describe it and that’s kawaii, because English just doesn’t cut it!  I love the Japanese word for cute because it comes automatically for me when I feel something cute coming.  Say, a puppy dog or every time Johnny Depp does or say something in this movie.  This is his Cute Stage, a little after Edward Scissorhands and a little before What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?

The story is a man (Benny; Aiden Quinn) takes care of his mentally ill sister, Joon (Mary Stuart Masterson).  Joon is less drooling at the mouth mentally ill and more misunderstood artist who has panic attacks (of a kind) kind of mentally ill.  And she’s just generally disruptive in most society, but in an artistic sort of way.  Benny is on the brink of sending Joon to a home when she gets Sam (Johnny Depp) in a card game.  Sam loves Buster Keaton and dresses like him and has an encyclopedic knowledge of film.  It’s like he lives for Turner Classic Movies, pretty much, and his cousin is sick of him so he unloads Sam in a card game.

Sam proves to be perfect for the Pearl family.  He’s quirky and understanding of Joon, and manages to charm Benny enough that he trusts Joon with him.  So Benny goes out to get a life while Sam and Joon fall in love.  Yay.

As an aside: I would love to live in the house in this movie.  There’s a river right next to it and a crazy greenhouse and Joon, in her artistic soul, paints everything that doesn’t move.

I love the over protective relationship Benny has with Joon because it feels natural.  He’s so used to taking care of her that everything that could conceivably be a threat is treated thusly, even with Sam.  Mostly Benny just comes off as a jerk, but there is that honesty in the perfomance of the character.  And that’s true for all of the characters, they all have these brilliant flaws that makes them more loving by the end of the film.

This also makes great use of pop music in the soundtrack, which can help a bad film stagger to its lonely death or help a good film end on a high note.  The Prentenders “500 Miles” is the latter, used both to open the film and as a closing.

I’d call this a grade-A sleepover movie, but also a Rainy Day flick or just something to cuddle with.  So ends my long journey to the quirkiest love story produced by Hollywood.